Why Trump Will Win

Post-Election Headlines (Written Pre-Election)

1. Newsflash: Voter Intimidation Still Works

On Election Day itself, Trump supporters effectively blocked thousands of people from voting in swing state urban areas. Encouraged by the President’s rhetoric of “stand back and stand by,” the Proud Boys and other extremist groups went to battle for their leader. They yelled; they carried guns; they blocked entrances. Local police departments were overwhelmed. National Guard troops were beckoned in Altanta, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Milwaukee, Kenosha, Phoenix, Raleigh, Charlotte, and Miami, but it wasn’t enough to quell the violence. By the end of the night, time ran out. In the end, Trump won in real numbers as many simply weren’t allowed to vote.

2. Global March to Nationalism Continues

Nations around the world are embracing nationalism, some outright fascism. And the 2020 American election continued the international trendlines in this direction. Something larger than just what’s happening in the United States is going on. Citizens around the planet are pissed off at their governments — and they consistently show up to give them the finger.

3. Trump Held the Levers of Power — and Held On for Victory

Donald Trump controls the levers of power. This cannot be understated. Yes, there were technically 51 separate elections run simultaneously and not one big election. That said, Trump won as an outsider, but had four years to do Lord-knows-what behind the scenes, especially with the nation distracted by COVID. And one we saw clearly: Trump messed with the US Postal Service enough that thousands of ballots were delayed beyond state deadlines; others were merely never counted.

4. Elections Have Consequences — and Conservatives Have the Courts

Democrats, if they haven’t already, will kick themselves for not galvanizing their base decades earlier. While the Left was busy coming up with clever and not-so-clever hashtags #NotSoCleverHashtags, the Right was hard at work, actually electing conservatives to every level of the government: national, state, county, and local. Many appointed and approved conservative judges, who came in handy when it was time to decide whose votes to count. Many ruled in the GOP’s favor, so while the sheer number of votes was more than enough to go the Dems’ way, they weren’t included in the final tally.

5. Ground Game Trumps Air Game

I love sports analogies. I’ll never forget how the Atlanta Braves’ legendary pitching (especially the starters) shut down my Cleveland Indians’ insane hitting lineup in the 1995 World Series. (Yes, I’ll say “my” since I’m from Ohio and was living in Cleveland at the time.)

“It’s won on the field with fundamental play. You have to steal, you have to bunt, you have to sacrifice, you have to get men in scoring position, and then you gotta bring ’em in. And you don’t do that with a bunch of statistical gimmicks. Nobody reinvents this game.”

6. The Baby Boomer Death Rattle

We just celebrated Halloween, so a dark analogy seems appropriate. While 13% of Trump voters voted for Barack Obama at least once, many White (and especially male) voters figured the “glory days” of when they were in-charge were over. Trump came along, expressed in a thinly-veiled manner that they could return to those glory days, and re-activated their racism.

7. Inexperience with Voting by Mail Dooms Democrats

Black mail-in ballots were rejected at rates up to 200% as often as their White counterparts. In an election this close, it was enough to make a difference.

8. American People Decide They Don’t Want to Return to “Normal” — Because “Normal” Wasn’t Working for Them

It is difficult to look at Joe Biden and not see the past. Not only is he old but also he’s a Vice President from four years ago. While nostalgia is a powerful thing, the reality is that many Americans threw a Hail Mary and voted for Trump because they wanted a stepchange. The Democrats tried to run the person who was next in line… and learned nothing from the failings of Al Gore, John Kerry, and Hillary Clinton.

9. Under Pressure, McEnroe Hits Yet Another Ace

[In fairness, the style of this one doesn’t really fit. It’s a couple of personal vignettes. That said, I believe it’s real.]

They Really Come Apart.

10. Simply Put, Trump Did It Again

The mainstream media (MSM) kept telling us Trump had to pull an inside straight. You mean like how he did in 2016? Well, Trump won the exact same way he did the first time. After all of the resources (the time, the money, and the energy), the electoral map didn’t budge. Americans have known what they were getting with Trump since 2015. And just enough of them were in the right places to make it happen once again. Was it really that tough to imagine something that already happened?

11. One More for the Gipper

Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter in 1980, and perhaps no line sums it up better than the question he asked: “Are you better off than you were four years ago?” The majority of Americans didn’t feel so, so they gave Jimmy the boot. In a recent Gallup poll, 56% of Americans said they were better off than four years ago — during a pandemic. This portended that, no matter his failings, Trump was better for Americans and they wanted to “stay the course,” to borrow from Reagan again.

12. Guess What. You Still Have to Inspire

Biden counted on people’s turning out to vote against the President. And it wasn’t enough. People are cynical but they’re not that cynical. They still want to hope, still want to be inspired, still want to believe in something.

13. Biden, Propped Up by the Media, Was Never a Strong Candidate

The MSM learned its lesson from 2016, not overly trying to make this a horserace. But this time, they went in the other direction, doing everything they could to reveal how weak a candidate Biden truly was. Well, many Americans aren’t getting their news from the MSM anymore; the internet showed Biden’s shortcoming — and Americans were watching.

14. Ohio Continues Its Perfect Streak

Since the Year of the Beatles in America, my home state has a perfect streak in voting for the winner. Biden got close, but with its shift to the Right in recent years, Ohio #nailedit once more.

15. Trump Camp Pulls Off Collusion Again

Many on the Right thought the Mueller Report disproved collusion. No, it wasn’t disproven; it was unproven. The Mueller Report had two parts: Part I was Conspiracy and Coordination and Part II was Obstruction of Justice. Attorney General and Fat-Ass-in-Chief Bill Barr beat Democrats to the punch with his four-page summary of Mueller’s 400-page report. But what the Democrats never plainly stated was this: the reason Trump got away with Conspiracy because of Obstruction. Part II caused Part I.

16. Hindus Turn Out for the Elephant

Democrats’ support of Muslims irked many Hindus, who comprise 80% of South Asians. The 78% support they showed Clinton fell to 65%, which was just barely enough to keep Pennsylvania in Trump’s Win column. With 35% voting for the Republican, South Asian Voices were heard — just not the way many expected.

17. With the World Crashing Around Him, Trump Prevailed Due to His #1 Strength

Right or wrong (wrong, IMO), Americans often trust Republicans with the economy, and this was no different. The one bright spot in the polling for Trump was always the economy. And even though it collapsed on his watch and because he did nothing to stop it, Trump proved highly effective in shifting the blame away from himself and to China.

18. The Polls Were Wrong — Again

As it’s been said, the reality is that the 2016 polls weren’t really that wrong. But this will be the narrative, especially since, after all of the fog, it came down to the same three (not six) battleground states, what I like to call MIPAWI. Hey, if we drove the Native Americans out of their own lands, we can at least give this a mnemonic that sounds Native American.

19. Black and Latinx Men Defy the Woke Left

… Many on the progressive Left looked at Trump and saw a bigot. They had the luxury of White privilege (in this case, manifesting itself as seeing oneself as better at making decisions for others). But African American and Latin American males saw in Trump both the practical and the philosophical: his policies provided jobs for them and his machismo appealed to the traditionally domineering male prevalent in so many communities (whether People of Color or White).



Ohio-born, LA-based comedian.

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