Collision, Not Collusion
Don’t throw the kitchen sink at Trump— just the kitchen table.
“So now you better stop
And rebuild all your ruins
For peace and trust can win the day
Despite all your losing.”— “Immigrant Song,” Led Zeppelin
On St. Paddy’s Day, I went over to Comedian Jimmy Dore’s studio in Pasadena. And on the way to LAX this morning, I listened to his Friday episode and it turns out he absolutely #nailedit when it came to the #MuellerReport.
What people forget is that Bob Mueller was charged with three tasks:
1.Did the Russians hack our election? Yes.
2. Did Trump’s team conspire or coordinate with the Russians? No.
3. Did Trump obstruct justice? Punt.
Turns out our President didn’t collude with Russia to steal the election. This is great news. As I wrote two days before Bill Barr (not to be confused with Bill Burr) delivered his summary to Congress:
Let’s be clear about one thing. No American patriot should HOPE our President colluded with Russia. I hate Donald Trump with a burning passion — and I don’t think one should use “hate” lightly — but in no way do I HOPE he acted on behalf of a hostile foreign power. And neither should you. It may hurt Democrats’ chances in 2020, but here’s to hoping our government is on our side and didn’t sell us out and is working on our behalf. 🍹 🍸 🍷
As political commentator David Frum wrote, “The question unanswered by the attorney general’s summary of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report is: Why? Russian President Vladimir Putin took an extreme risk by interfering in the 2016 election as he did. Had Hillary Clinton won the presidency — the most likely outcome — Russia would have been exposed to fierce retaliation by a powerful adversary. The prize of a Trump presidency must have glittered alluringly, indeed, to Putin and his associates. Why?
Frum then proffers various theories. But applying Occam’s Razor, the simplest theory may really be the best: Or were they simply attracted by Trump’s general ignorance and incompetence, seeing him as a kind of wrecking ball to be smashed into the U.S. government and U.S. foreign policy?
It’s time for liberals to understand what is blatantly obvious for everyone to see — and why I never jumped on the Russian Collusion Train either: Trump is both a wrecking ball and a trainwreck. There’s no collusion — just collision. Of course he was going to be this unfit moron as a President. But being an asshole isn’t a crime or everybody driving in front of me on the freeway would be in jail. (And traffic would be better.) If you’re Russia, a clear enemy of the US, why wouldn’t you support him?
The reason Trump likes Putin is the reason he likes all dictators: he aspires to be one. It may be no more complicated than that.
And the fact that the Russians have financed his projects. All of those Russians connections? Let’s face it — there are a lot. Trump never thought he’d win the Presidency; this is well-documented. He was using this to boost his profile and build more hotels in Russia. It is influencing our foreign policy but that’s also the President’s prerogative. After all, President Obama opened up Cuba, an enemy, and made a deal with Iran, an enemy. (I believe these were good moves, but they were controversial decisions.)
However, here’s the thing: Trump won this round huge. Why? Because the MSM (mainstream media) built the expectations so high, hardly ever telling us that none of the indictments had to do with Russian collusion. And now their credibility is further destroyed, meaning that the best check we have on government — a free press — is even more diminished.
It’s good that Trump’s inner circle went down; it deserved to. Paul Manafort, Roger Stone, et al., are awful people who’ve done some of the worst things, including conspiracy against America. They need to be held accountable. The witch hunt found some witches. Or warlocks, if gender matters.
“Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?”
“Mueller? Mueller? Anyone?”
That said, the Democrats should continue to investigate Trump: work to make the Mueller Report public, bring him and Barr to Capitol Hill, and support the other myriad ongoing inquiries. It’s just gonna be that much harder now: can you convince independents that it’s worth it?
It’s like divorcing your spouse on the grounds of infidelity when he’s already a piece of crap — lying, cheating, stealing. If you go to court and allege he committed adultery and it turns out he didn’t, well, then, that’s gonna be a problem for you. Just file for divorce on the fact that he’s a douche. After all, he’s still doing all this other stuff that’s against the law. You’ll win. But this’ll be difficult. Democrats will need to try to pull off a balancing act:
They’re going to need to say, over and over, “Our job as an equal branch of government is to serve as a check on the executive branch. We’re merely doing the job the Republicans didn’t do for the first two years. And we have to ensure the Russians don’t undermine us again — and we need our President to work to preserve our democracy. That’s all.”
But at the same time, they need to focus on developing their own vision. It’s not enough to say Trump is bad. All those investigations may very well prove that Trump has committed crimes while in office: if he paid off Michael Cohen, that is a campaign finance violation, a serious matter. But impeachment is a political process, not a legal one. And you’ve already went for the granddaddy: collusion with an enemy. That’s been disproven. (Really, unproven, but that’s not what the American public will hear.) So, anything else he may have done will pale in comparison. It’s like we landed in Australia and you promised me I’d see a kangaroo and, on the last day, you showed me a few koalas. I mean, koalas are cool and all, but I wanna see a freakin’ kangaroo. Add that to the fact that Democrats and the MSM wrecked their already-dismal reputations, and you’ve only made it that much rougher.
The reason the Dems lost is they’re playing tennis when they should be playing golf. When Donald Trump, Jr. wrote to a Russian that he’d “love it” when he was told more Clinton leaks were coming, this would be like if you and I are playing tennis. A fan tells me ahead of time that he’s going to throw a custard pie in your face when you’re serving for the match. I tell him, “Love it!” Uncool? Yes. Unsportsmanlike? No doubt. But illegal? Nope. I didn’t tell him to do it and I didn’t buy the custard pie. The Russians, through hackers and WikiLeaks, threw a custard pie in Hillary Clinton’s face when she was ostensibly serving for the match. She never recovered and then Trump won.
Stop playing tennis. You aren’t going to beat Trump one-on-one. Change the game. Pick a sport you’re good at. Let’s say it’s golf. In golf, you don’t play against a person. You play against the course. And that’s what the Dems need to do.
Trump isn’t the enemy. The enemies are Wealth inequality. Healthcare costs. School loans. Climate change. Mass shootings. Kitchen table issues. Voters can agree or disagree with your positions. That’s not the point. The point is to make these the enemies. If you reframe the debate, you can still win in 2020.
Funny the answer was sitting right in front of us as Trump was golfing at Mar-a-Lago. #irony
Rajiv Satyal is a Cincinnati-born, LA-based standup comedian.
